My life is making some good turns and I like where it is going. I have tried dating since my longest relationship and it just never seemed to work. I never felt like it was going anywhere and I knew in my heart that I didn’t love the people who tried saying they loved me. Going back into dating can be rough. I thought that I honestly would never find someone who I could feel something for.

 I always tried and never gave up though. I would try to go on dates but they always turned out to be all wrong in my mind. Some might say I was picky but I didn’t feel it in my heart. I knew that the person that was good for me was out there somewhere…I just didn’t know where to find him. After realizing that searching only makes it weird.

(People can tell you anything) I realized that I was tired of searching after having a date that was another bomb. I knew that I didn’t mean what I was thinking when I said that I might just stay single forever but I felt like I was finished. What was I thinking? I am young and giving up when you aren’t even twenty yet is not the best way or the best emotional feelings to go through. I never really had respect or love for myself.

You have to love yourself before letting someone in. I’m now beginning to realize that God made me the way I am for a reason. I might not be the prettiest girl out there or the skinniest but I am average and I figured when I found Mr. Right I would be ideal and flawless in his own eyes. My friend Brooke told me about her boyfriend’s friend Josh who I was very gingerly at first. I didn’t know what kind of a person he was or what he was looking for.

 I didn’t even know what he looked like but I agreed to let him text me even though I felt negative because of previous situations. When I started texting him he seemed very simple. I liked the fact that he was indeed a good guy. He had a past but he would tell me everything and I would tell him that this is present and that’s all I care about. I felt something and I still feel something.

I am not promising that I’m geting married or anything. We just started dating not too long ago but inside I feel that spark that tells me in my heart that he is indeed the one I have been looking for. I am so thankful for him already. People might tell me that it’s too soon to know but when you know ..You know. Even if something were to happen I want it down to know that I did end up falling in love again and there is hope for people who feel like it will never happen.

The most amazing feeling was when we saw each other last night and he told me his exact feeling for me already. If someone else were to do this with me this early I would be really freaked out and it would put red flags in my head. I was shocked when he said that he hadn’t felt this way in a long time and that he was falling for me. Those are the words that I wanted to say but I couldn’t to his face because I felt as if he would think it was too soon. I melted….

I couldn’t have agreed anymore. Last night in my driveway with me about to leave he pulled me in close kissed me softly and said the words that I wanted to hear from him. “I love you” my heart raced and I sad it back “I love you too” That will be a night that will forever be apart of me. I’m really thankful. That night I prayed about it and felt as though God really did want me to have this. I would always tell him in my prayers “If you don’t want me to be with someone make it clear and let me fix it” He always did and he led me to something good that I want to last.

I want to thank Brooke Stiles and Andrew Blake for putting Josh in my life. Brooke and I have had our times but I will always love her and cherish her friendship. Andrew Blake has always been very nice to me and I know he loves me just as much as Brooke does.  I also want to thank Ashley Claise for always knowing what to tell me when I wonder about my feelings. She told me that when you know, you know and she could not have been more right. I could not be more thankful for her in my life and knowing that she will pick me up, lecture me when I need it, and tell me the honest truth. I am so happy to have these people in my life.